The Biggest Myth About “Feeling Your Feelings” (That Keeps Your Nervous System in Survival Mode)
If you live with pelvic or nerve pain, you’ve probably already heard it:
“Unprocessed emotions can amplify chronic symptoms.”
And it’s true. Our bodies hold on to what hasn’t been fully felt. But there’s one big problem.
When it comes to actually feeling emotions, most people get it wrong. You may think they’re doing the inner work, when you’re staying stuck in the pattern that keeps your nervous system activated… and your pain in a loop.
It’s because you’re thinking about the pain story rather than focusing on the feeling itself.
Let’s clear this up.
Myth #1: “If I’m thinking about the emotion, I’m processing it.”
You’ve had a hard day or an uncomfortable conversation and your fear spikes.
And then come the ruminating thoughts:
“Why do I always do this?”
“She hurt me.”
“What if it never gets better?”
It feels like you’re engaging with the emotion. But what you’re actually doing… is telling the story of the emotion.
That’s not the same as feeling it.
And here’s why that matters:
Your nervous system doesn’t regulate from the story. It regulates from the feeling, which starts as a sensation.
So while your brain is looping through “why,” “what if,” or “I should’ve”… your body never gets the signal that it’s safe.
Myth #2: “Feeling your feelings means analyzing them.”
Let’s be real: trying to “figure out” your emotions is one of the most socially acceptable survival strategies out there.
It gives your brain something to do. It makes you feel productive. But it’s not the same as regulation.
Your nervous system doesn’t speak in logic or language. It speaks in sensations.
The way through isn’t analyzing the emotion, it’s allowing it.
That might look like:
Tightness in your chest
Heat in your face
Buzzing in your limbs
The urge to cry, shake, or breathe
And when you actually let yourself feel it, without a story or a strategy, the emotion moves on. Often in 90 seconds or less.
Myth #3: “If I stay busy, I won’t have to feel it.”
This one’s sneaky. The nervous system is smart. When it doesn’t feel safe to feel, it reaches for decoys. Things like:
Constantly checking your symptoms
Reorganizing your calendar
Obsessively researching what could be wrong
Keeping your mind in motion so your body doesn’t have to feel
These are not just “bad habits”, they’re protection strategies. But they keep your nervous system stuck in a loop of activation.
And here’s what I’ve seen time and time again:
When you let yourself actually feel the core emotion, your body no longer needs the decoy. The loop starts to unwind.
So… what does it really mean to feel your feelings?
It means giving your body the experience it’s been trying to have all along, one sensation at a time.
Inside the Pelvic Healing Circle, this is exactly what I guide you through.
I share the same mind-body practices that have helped me and my clients recover from chronic pain.
Because pain doesn’t resolve through mental insight. It resolves when your nervous system feels safe enough to let go.
